EXPECTING LIFE

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas, 2005

Was more of a success than I thought possible. I decided, after much guilt and flip-flopping, to go to my grandpa's for Christmas eve. I did not know, however, how sneaky sneaky my grandpa could be. He had invited EVERYONE for Christmas eve, and that included my mother.

Luckily for all of us, she did not bring her boytoy. I decided awhile ago, if he made eye contact with me, I would punch him. No exceptions. So far we have crossed paths twice, and he has kept his face to the dirt. Good boy. I don't want to make it sound like I am some badass: the guy is easily twice my size, and was once a boxer. There is at least a good chance he could floor me. But something about his eyes makes me really want him hurt, and I am a do-it-yourself kind of guy.

Anyway, I got to see everyone, and had a good conversation with my estranged sister. She is loopy (that's probably the lithium-no I am not joking) but at least she isn't trying to kill me. Again.

###I feel this needs it's own explanation###
Once, while we still lived under the same roof, I awoke to find her poised over my bed with a knife. She now claims she was only trying to scare me, but she was in motion when I got out of the way and tackled her. I don't think she was just playing around. Even now, I sleep VERY light. Noises in the house next door can wake me.
######

WE decided not to stay over, and went to Carly's grandparents. They had rented us a room, so we went swimming and hot tubbing. It was very nice. Except her brother is STILL a snorer(he had an operation he claims was a success), and I woke up a good 30 times (see above). The next day we went to their house for dinner and presents. The family is pretty cool, and laid back, so it's a nice change of pace. Even Corey managed to be civil, and not talk about chiropracty (or, voodoo, as I like to call it) and annoy everyone. He DID buy Mike a Recipes by God book, but that was just good for a laugh. The guy just doesn't get it, so he's sort of moved on from gnat to comic relief. If he is smart, he knows it. Otherwise, he's just dense.

All in all, it was a fine time. My mother, as I was leaving, decided that just isolating herself in the kitchen whilst everyone was in the living room was not getting enough attention, so she decided to cry. A lot. That got her the attention she needed. I had really hoped she would at least make an effort this time. Maybe next time.

I also learned a little dynamic I was, sad to say, not shocked about. See, my other sister spent a couple years not talking to my mother. She had good reason: my mother knew her second husband was molesting her, and did nothing for about a year and a half. This, of course, is one of the reasons I don't talk to my mother. But now, for no reason, other than money, I think, she has moved BACK in with my mother. That is strange enough, but I am not done. My mother is engaged to my sister's fiance. She has been for some time, which is another reason they were not talking. But he STILL lives there. Here's the part that takes this off Springer and puts it square in I-cannot-believe-I-am-related-to-these-people-town: She is fucking him, too. And the guy, before you all ask, has NOTHING going for him. He is oafish, terrible ugly, smells of raw sweat and whatever smell stupidity carries, has an IQ around his age (which is 20 years the junior of my mother), and isn't even funny. Beyond that, he is abusive. So what, in the name of CHRIST, is going on? And they all know, which is perhaps the worst part. My mother has lost all self respect, my sister never had any, and this guy keeps getting in the middle.

That's about all the dirty laundry I can air at this time. If you keep reading, you will start piecing together what is behind the scenes. As I have said before, I don't really hide this stuff anymore. I feel so detached from them most of the time, it is as if I am reading about them, or watching them on stage. Most of the time.

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