Thursday, April 13, 2006

THE TRIP: PART TWO

The Drive

Minnesota

You already know everything you need to know about driving through this state. The weather, when we left, was actually quite nice. It was a balmy 45 degrees, and the sun had some moments where the clouds were not obscuring it.

We took our regular route to the Fargo area, and connected there with I 94. No stops, and fast driving, and we were out of the state in no time.

Attractions: Worlds largest ball of twine in Bundy, MN.
Fun Fact: Fargo/Moorhead, in the dark, and from a distance, looks just like a very small corner of New York, in the dark.

North Dakota

When we hit I 94 we noticed all towns stopped. They were just gone. Each time we passed an exit, we were greeted with a "No Services" sign. Why make a friggin exit, if we can't get any services? Why would we want to exit at all? At least in the car I can get SOME service, if I talk really pretty to the fiance.

Still, though, the drive was fast, and as we neared the border, the terrain got better. The hills of North Dakota liken themselves to hobbit farms, and I spent most of my time dreaming up what the half sized bastards were up to, as I counted down the time to the border.

Attractions: Not only do they have the worlds largest Holstein cow, they have the worlds largest buffalo. And they are only about 50 miles form each other! Bring the kids.

Fun Fact about ND: North Dakota is home to almost two different races of people: white, and dirty white.

Montana

Montana is where the sights started gaining worth. The mountains loom in the distance, and you drive through some amazing canyons. Also, just past Billings, you get to drive on fabulous I 90. Even faster than I 94, and 4 less too!

But tragedy hit in the form of almost an inch of snow. While driving over the Rockies (who knew it would snow on top of a friggin mountain) it started snowing. The drivers went crazy. The speed slowed to around 20 miles per hour. And then we stopped. It was 12:33 pm.


It turns out some idiot trucker had jack-knifed his "rig" going down a slope, you know, because of the snow, and stopped both lanes of traffic. Of course, the county dispatched only the best road workers, and the situation would be handled timely.

In just three short hours we were driving again. We got to Butte, and heard the report that we were the last group of cars through the pass. The "snow" had closed the road for the night. We sped on to our destination.

Attractions: In Montana? C'mon, people.
Fun Fact about MT: If you live in Montana, on a butte, you MUST own a trailer, and park it on the plateau. In this way, Montana, the "Big Sky" state, can further enhance it's skyline vistas.

Idaho

We hit Idaho around false dawn. The whole upper part, or handle, is mountain, and they, wisely, put the roads in the valleys. That means falling rock signs and switchbacks throughout the state. Still, we were getting a taste of what was to come, and the scenery was starting to change into high desert. Since we were in the state for less than two hours, total, I guess I have nothing else to write.

Attractions: Potatoes, I suppose. Really, though, they make Vodka out of that.
Fun Fact about ID: If you live in Idaho, you aren't having fun.

Oregon

To be continued. Now, THAT'S Funny.

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