EXPECTING LIFE

Monday, September 18, 2006

WOW A WHOLE WEEK

It feels like going a week without sex. I guess, considering it is blogging, maybe it is more like going a week without masturbation. I have started to feel like that lately. (Not like masturbation, the "started" in the last sentence makes THAT false). And once again wondering why I blog. But I found something that makes it worth it for me. I like reading my own posts. Egotistical its true, but I like reading my own posts. It feels like my thoughts don't compose themselves until I have composed them in type. And you know what, that makes me happy.

And my happiness might be at an all-time high as of late. Let me fill you in, reader (and by that, given the above, I mean me, I guess).

I have settled in to my job. It is not ideal for me, but I am coming to think no job will be. So this is as close as I can get without knowing what I want. My boss is, most days, a pretty ok boss. He is a bit wishy-washy about certain things, but I really think that is because he is still defining what my role with the group will be. I am not sure he had that in stone before he hired me.

But what I do know is I work with a good group of guys. All of them, the boss included. And I enjoy selling sports equipment, for now. I also enjoy the sense of pride I get in the store, when it looks the way I want. To be honest, I enjoy the disgust I have with it, somedays. And the whole process of customers, from vendors all the way to the sale, is like magic. And, just like magic, sometimes it is lame.

But more important than my job are the next two items. First, the Page wedding Jumpoff was a rousing success. I REALLY like my in-laws. They are a fun bunch to party with, I can tell you that. Maybe they don't get my dry sense of humor, or humour, but they don't have to. They let me play my guitar, poorly, and sang along. That alone is worth all the points in the system.

But the real news is they were all genuine. My family, at least the extended part of it, sometimes comes across fake The Walshes do not suffer that affliction. They genuinely had a good time just drinking around a fire. And they can all converse on a number of subjects, without getting bored with any of them. I cannot stress enough what an asset that is.

I would be remiss, though, if I did not include a shout to my peeps from college (I literally just typed and erased "highschool" there. Make of that what you will) It was awesome to see all of them again. Time passes, but they felt the same. Actually, we had all changed. What felt the same was our dynamic. It felt reassuring. I am not sure where I am going on this spinning ball, but it is nice to know I have that foundation.

And both sides helped make the Jumpoff happen. My sister baked a cake people could not stop talking about. It looked like a sandcastle (I am sure I can rustle up some pictures). And my new brother in law Mike cooked more food than even we could eat. It was awesome.

It turns out it was a good thing we had the party when we did, too. The gifts of money we received paid off some debt I had from college. Which is important, because it allowed us to be APPROVED FOR OUR HOME LOAN!!!!

That's right. We close Friday. Moving will be a chore, but it will be a labor of love. We will be homeowners, and right on schedule. We told ourselves five years, and we are making it in under the cut. It feels like life is finally starting. Grown up life, that is.

I was not sure we would be able to pay the stuff off, either. So unsure I called my friend for advice. He offered me the cash, no questions asked. He also talked to me about what to do. It turns out the latter prevented the former from being needed, but it felt good for him to offer. At first I felt shame. I wanted to do this on my own. (And, eventually, we did, in our own way). But then I thought it through.

See, really, I am not where I am today without him. Without everyone I named above, really. You don't walk this thing alone. Sometimes you get kicked in the gut, and you don't walk it at all. And sometimes it feels like you are running through it. But in the end, they are all with you.

Thinking of that, and all that has happened in the past couple weeks, THAT is my happiness.

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